Virtual Coffee Date: The one with my tale of woe and Lola’s tale of 50…

February 10, 2017 11:38 am Published by 10 Comments

Grab something to drink because we’ve got some chatting to do.

If we were having coffee I’d say enough already with the cooties! ENOUGH! Remember how I told you BabyScandal and Scandalito handle sickness differently? Well, the head cold she handled like a boss morphed itself into a beast that took both of us down this week. Holy shit, that cootie was no fucking joke. I can not tell you how much snot and sinus pressure I’ve dealt with this week. The coughing, nose blowing and the energy zapping fever – it was a lot. It was made even worse because being the grown up, I had to deal with my own fatigue and help the girlie as best I could. So, Wednesday rolls around and the morning starts with no fevers, yay! things are looking up we think – showers happen, people stay awake longer than the 20 minutes it takes to eat and re-medicate. We are on the mend…until Wednesday night and the fevers return and the coughing increases. Seriously, I didn’t think it was possible for one kid to cough as much as BabyScandal coughed, gag inducing coughing spells…it was horrible. Finally, a bit after 1AM, things quiet down with the coughing and BabyScandal and I finally fall asleep. BabyScandal tucked in beside me, finally still.

If we were having coffee this is the spot I’d remind you that Big Poppa was out of town this week, so just us girls and our cooties. At 2:08 AM, Thursday morning I hear glass shattering and my house alarm starts wailing. Now, we’ve been asleep for what felt like 10 seconds and both of us are loaded way up on nighttime cold medicine…and my burglar alarm is going off. In that moment, every plan and safety scenario I’d ever constructed in my head went completely out the window. In my cootie and cold medicine induced haze, I grabbed my phone, no pants and ran for the stairs to go downstairs to investigate. BabyScandal is frantically yelling, “No Mom, don’t go we have to lock the bedroom door…come back, don’t go.” I stopped, looked back and then sallied forth, like a fucking idiot. Seriously, not my brightest hour. I get to the bottom of the stairs and I hear her say over the alarm bells (literal and figurative at this point) “god dammit mom” and she is hot on my heels. I round the corner and see no one as I start flipping on lights. I can see the two doors that would’ve set off the alarm and neither have been opened – the alarm panel is next to the third door which is also secure so I shut off the alarm. BabyScandal still tucked up tight behind me and my very dangerous weapon of defense, my iPhone. We shuffle back towards the kitchen which is the center of the house and I can see all of the windows are still intact…remember, I heard glass breaking before the alarm started. I flip on the kitchen light and apparently my damn cat had jumped up on the center island, slid on the towel I’d left there and crashed into my pretty, pretty cake stand, shattering it into a gazillion pieces. The sound of the glass cake stand breaking must’ve triggered the glass break feature on our alarm system. Both of us exhale loudly and hug each other before I quickly shooed her from the broken glass situation happening all around us. It took me a while to clean the mess up and deal with the alarm company calls…good thing I had my phone handy and when all was somewhat back to normal BabyScandal looked at me and said, “Mom, we need to talk about how big you fucked up.” She was not wrong – I screwed up bigly. I mean, what if…

If we were having coffee I’d tell you we were so rattled we grabbed our mace and baseball bats and did a full sweep of the house – every closet, window, attic, shower curtain, door, under bed hiding spot was investigated before we headed back to bed just after 3:15am…which meant poor BabyScandal dealt with another 30 minute round of coughing and I was so jacked up on adrenaline and the stench of my terrible parenting mistake it took me 2 full hours to fall back asleep. I was awakened by a call from Big Poppa at 7am who saw a message from the alarm company on his phone…and then again at 8am by GrandpaScandal who was sweetly calling to check up on his sick girls. Speaking of, I need to call him back today and apologize for being less than grateful for his call. The girlie and I spent all of Thursday on separate couches trying to catch up on our sleep and get ourselves back to feeling better. The good news is, ScandalCat broke nothing last night and we both woke feeling so much better, BabyScandal is back at school and I am actually writing a VCD. My voice is shot and my coughing jags are sporadic so I’m bailing on the podcast this evening, no worries, the Nerds have it covered without me! BabyScandal says her ribs hurt and her stomach muscles are on fire but we are both fever and pretty much snot free. I’m still wallowing in my terrible crisis management skills – I have a lot of regret over how I handled it. I mean luckily everything was fine but what if…I can’t stop with the what if…

If we were having coffee I’d end this one on a slightly lighter note. Lola went to see a little movie last night and she took some time this morning to record a video review for us. Take a look at her thoughts on Fifty Shades Darker…

If we were having coffee I’d say…”that’s why I’m making this face” is going to be my catchphrase for the foreseeable future. I love me some Lola and her face! So, have you seen the movie? Care to share your thoughts? Is it on your agenda for the weekend? It’s supposed to be 70 degrees here so I’m opening up the windows and doors to air out the cooties…I might even get my smudge on to clear the cootie and crippling “what if” mojo from my home. What about you, what are your plans for the weekend? Planning anything fun for Valentines Day? Do you even celebrate that Hallmark holiday? Whatever you do, I send you virtual cootie free smooches!


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  • TJ says:

    Lola you are so stinkin adorable!

  • C.C. Wood says:

    I’m so glad you’re feeling better, Scandie! And I love Lola. “That’s why I’m making this face” is totally going into one of my next books. Maybe all my future books, because it has so many possibile applications. LOL

    I’m going to the Holidays with the Belles signing in Dallas this weekend and I can’t wait to see all my author and reader friends! Then I’m going to write, write, write. I have a very ambitious publication schedule for this year and I need to stay on top of it!

  • Jessica Godfrey says:

    I’m glad you’re both feeling better. I’m glad it was the cat. I’m glad BabyScandal, even in the midst of a midnight crisis, had her head on her shoulders to tell you not to go, but still had your back. And please please me ScandalCat didn’t kill that really awesome cake stand you had. Bad ScandalCat!

    I’m glad all is ok and you are on the mend. ❤

    • Scandal says:

      Yes, that one…she killed it, dead…a gazillion pieces – I’m all sad about it too.

      Thanks, I’m glad we are on the mend too, it sucks when your kid is down like BabyScandal was and you feel almost as bad but can’t really complain because sometimes you are actually the adult in the room…unless the alarm is going off at 2am, then I rely on her adulting skills.

  • Dodi Gaines says:

    Hey ladies! Saw the movie last night and it was HOT!!! Much better than the first imo. Still alot of Dakota’s boobs, but much more of Jamie’s abs. I thought the characters melded much better. Not much they can do about E.L.’s dialogin many places. But as long as Jamie keeps taking off his shirt, I’ll keep watching! Going back on Sunday.

  • I’m just now reading the books (well just finished the first and hope to read the 2nd before seeing the movie). I have to say I liked the 1st movie more than the book. I think it was because with the movie we didn’t get 200+ “oh my” and “my inner goddess” like we did in the book because we didn’t have the internal monologue.

    From the trailer I’m looking forward to the 2nd book and movie because it looks like there is an element of suspense from the ex-girlfriend.

  • Kathy says:

    Glad you are feeling better. Those cooties are not fun. I have a ‘noise in the house’ story that is totally embarrassing but may make you feel better. It was 8+ years ago, we had just moved into our huge 2 story house (we came from a box). The hubs was out of town 1.5 hours away, my then 15 year old daughter was sleeping with me. I wasn’t hopped up on cold meds but I remember being OUT. A distant chirping woke me up. I finally “woke up” and really heard it. We didn’t have an alarm system but the people before us did. All I could think of was they didn’t have it turned off & there was someone in the house. Instead of picking up the phone & calling 911, I called my hubs. LONG story short, my daughter & I also ventured out into the house, but we had my hubs on the phone & a gun. This is the embarrassing part; the chirping noise was one of the smoke detectors telling us the battery was low. In my defense, I had never heard that sound before. Plus we were in a new house filled with tile that echos….yeah, not my best moment. So, I get where you were coming from. I think it is a combination of adrenaline & mama bear that puts in that frame of mind. 😐 As for 50, (love the face Lo) I will be seeing it on Sunday with my cousin, then we are meeting our hubs (who adamantly don’t want to see it) for a nice expensive seafood dinner. That will be our Valentine’s Day celebration because actually going out on Valentine’s Day, um, no thank you.

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